Dear New Neighbors

Thank you for your nice introduction a few months ago saying that you want to be good neighbors and to let you know if there is ever a problem. Although we do appreciate this gesture, we all know that you didn't mean it. I wish you did. I would march right over to your house and ask you ever so politely to please shut your yappy little dog up. The constant barking keeps my child from napping, wakes us up at night and quite frankly just annoys the hell out of us while we are working in our yard. 

Also, you guys are extremely loud people in general. Do you really have to shout from outside to people inside? I don't care if you are going to the store, so just walk your happy ass inside and tell whomever it is that you are trying to communicate with directly. Thankyouverymuch.

And about the monster truck that you have parked outside in my half of the yard. What the F are you thinking. Just so you know you have killed my grass in four areas where your tires have been for the last week. I would like to let you know that I am calling the city tomorrow and you will probably have ticket. Its illegal to park there anyway.  Sorry. Please get off of my lawn.

Sincerely, 

Bethany Watson